Our relationship is so strained that we have a hard time being civil to each other. How can we protect our children?
Conflict between parents is extremely hurtful to children. Find a neutral mediator or a therapist to help you and your spouse focus on the needs of the children. Use your neutral person to help you both tell the children about the upcoming divorce and your hopes that the strife between the two of you will lessen by living independently.
Be very careful to keep your children out of the middle. Resist any urge to draw your children into the divorce issues. Children caught in the middle feel like they are in a war zone.